Santa Sisters

The Emperor's New Christmas Gifbag: only smart people can see a Christmas Gift Bag complete with Santa, Rudolph, Christmas tree, presents in shiny wrapping paper, snow, jingle bells. What ?!?! You see none of it? You see a "smile virus." Well, sorry to inform you, but you ain't exactly the sharpest tool in the shed.
Jiwon has been in town since Dec. 1st. It's a pleasure to have her back if only for a while, but I've been so busy and not able to spend as much time as I'd want to. Anyhoo, we managed to meet for dinner at our fave Italian food venue La Tavola in Itaewon. One can always rely on their pizzas and pastas. It was also an evening of Christmas gifts exchange. Jiwon left her gifts at home, so Clare and I itching with anticipation. Clare got both Jiwon and me of cool aprons that sum up my cooking philosophy - scroll down to see the pic. I got her and Jiwon scarves plus a necklace for Clare and a Hello Kitty journal for Jiwon.

As is always the case with us, we had a jolly good time, talking about this and that, topics as varied as riots in Australia, sick (medically speaking only, not personality-wise) American Presidents, sex and the lack of it, living in Korea, etc. The two of them had even a jollier and rosier heck of a time guzzling Italian red; I didn't need any wine as all the anti -pills I'm taking (anti-histamines, -inflamatories, -biotics, -baby are surely giving me a buzz.
Before I met the girls today I: a)went to the immigration, b) misunderstood the time of our faculty lunch, waited for 15 minutes in freezing cold for everyone else before being told that lunch happens next Tuesday; c) had lunch with David, my assistant, who told me he's quitting his jobin February to teach English (he'd be better off teaching Swahili as I'm sure he's much more fluent in it than in English); d) shopped for gifts, cards, wrapped the former, wrote the latter; e) finally did the dishes and made my house look a tad less of a pigsty; f) went to Itaewonn where I drank coffee and ate donuts at Dunkin Donuts; g) proceeded to Starbucks where I drank hot choco, ate Italian biscotti,readThe Intl Herald Tribune, wrote 28 Christmas cards, and h) observed people who exhibited somewhat bizzare behaviour. I'll mention only two, although there were more of them. The first, a man in his 30's, obviously a university teacher, was reading papers and calculating grades, all the way loudly commenting on whatever he was doing. E.g. "sweatness, not you, oh Geez," furiously creating abstract art on the paper with his red-ink pen. He just kept talking to his students, or rather their papers. The second, a woman, took off her shoes, occupied 4 best spaces (those cushiony arm-chairs), sitting cross legged, then going on her stomach, all the while louldy reading from her notebook. I don't know what it was; it was in Korean. I think she was preparing a presentation of sorts 'cause she kept repeating same phrases in different tone of voice. What struck me as odd that they were totally oblivious to other people's stares. They just did their talking/presenting to themselves or imaginary audience/ students. It was quite odd.
finally at 8:00 I met the girls. When I got to La Tavola, Clare was already there, and soon Jiwon arrived, so our little pow-wow was unfolded.
I really love my apron. Now I can toss out the old one that smells like everything I've cooked in the last 2 years or so. Fabreeze is of no use, and who's ever heard of washing a grubby apron?

Clare's lovely neckline. The heart pendant points down at a very lovely part of her anatomy. Goooohjus, daaahling, gooohjus! Ab-fab!  

Clare got both Jiwon and me this coolio apron that reads - well read the apron! How cool (and how true) is that! I was actually not drinking tonight giving my antibiotics more chance of proving beneficial. And Jiwon, talking about taht thing you alwasy complain: It is I who looks like a rich man's wife 'with a proper double chin."  

A very animated Jiwon - and I didn't even have to say: act naturally 

Living it up at La Tavola. Jiwon's sipping Amaretto from that hurricane lamp shaped glass - cuz they were out of Frangelico.  

Same girls on the way home, a bottle of wine later.  

And the beret-ed B on the subway 

The mighty minus

Winter clothes were invented for a reason! Wear them when it's cold!

Mr. Minus has been hitting the streets of Seoul for days now. It's -10C (17F) and if feels evern colder, I mean,it's really, really cold. As I was waiting for a bus in Daehangno, I thought my nose would fall off and fingers and toes turn to icicles. And I was well-dressed to impress Mr. Minus: lots and lots of layers underneath my warm fleece jacket; I had a beret, scarf, ski gloves, tights, jeans, warm socks, warm shoes... and I was freezing.
So, what's the deal with all the young Korean boys and girls wearing none of the normal winter attire? Are they out of their minds? Or are they somehow genetically better insulated against the cold? There's only so much I can do to stop myself from yeling at them: Get dressed! It's December, not August. " It's also that when I see them being so cold I get even colder.

A couple in their twenties walked by, holding frozen hands. The woman had a short jacket, open of course, a mini skirt, see-through silky tights that offered a good view of her numb purple flesh),high-heel shiny boots (that'll keep ya warm, girly), no gloves, no hat, no scarf; the only item on her that could possibly provide some warmth was her long black hari. I am not sure if the shiny stuff hanging off of her ears were crystal earrings or icicles? Her man wore a short unlined denim jacket, thin baggy cargo pants, canvas sneakers, a hat (at least that), no gloves, no scarf. His girlfriend's handbag hung over his hunched shoulders. They were sort of running in that funny choppy, dare I say typically Korean way, woman continuously squealing, Choowuh! Choowuh!, Choowuh! (cold, cold, cold), her boyfriend's chattering teeth supporting her intelligent observations.
This couple was no exception. Most of the young people around me (and most of the people around me were young, this being Daehangno) were just like that: underdressed and freezing. I was the exception, the overdressed freak.

I can't figure out why they're freezing. Is it just that a typical Korean winter does not last as long as in some other places I am used to, namely Toronto, so Koreans don't find it necessary to bother with proper winter insulation? Is it that these youngsters care for comfort far less than me? Is it that they think jackets would make them look fat? Hats would mess up their hair? Gloves would hide manicured hands? Scarves would cover delicate necklasses? What the hell is it? It's not that they can't afford jackets. Korea is a paradise of cheap clothes. While these clothes will surely not bring you the title of the best dressed, they will keep you warm.

To me this is a very curious social phenomenon. I notice that older people in Korea as well are not as bundled up as an average Canadian would be on a -10C day. Is it simply that Koreans are better at putting up with discomfort than let's say Canadians? Or is it all about looking good? Any ideas?
I notice that many people are coughing their lungs out and spreading all kinds of germs around them. A brilliant idea: a task force should be formed to impose fines on people who are underdressed on cold days. 100,000 won for not wearing gloves, 200, 000 for a hat not in sight, 500, 000 for no proper jacket... Drastic, of course, and a bit BigBrotherly, but in my view necessary. If some featherless loonies want to get sick that's their thing; but if in the process they endanger birds with proper feathers, then it's a matter of common concern, wouldn't you agree? I bet that if the underdressed could only once experience the snuggly comfort of a good fleece jacket on a cold day, they'd never go back to their bare ways. Bundle up, please, or get off the streets.

The ROK Customs Rocks-CP/PC Sucks

Canada Post Sucks/Postes Canada Sucer

I've been going through a rough patch what with sinuses, viruses, papers, exams, lost original university degree certificates. I have 4 (read: four days) to find them, get them, present them at the immigration, or else... or else, anyongheekyeseyo Hanguk-nara. I mentioned yesterday the silly letters I had sent to Korean Customs office and Canada Post. While Canada Post are probably still rolling on the floor with laughter, a certain curteous Mr. Kwon of the Korean Customs is doing his best to find my docs. All of us who like to bitch about things in Korea emphasizing how things back home are much better organized, and governement agencies much more helpful should be blushing now.

I came home from a gruelling day of grading, exams, meetings, bad lunch... Was just power-napping around 9:00 pm when the phone rang. A hesitant voice asked for Ms. Turalidza (as my last name is commonly mispronounced). He introduced himself as Mr. Kwon of the Korean Customs and apologized for his bad English (that was quite good, actually). Informed me that he had already conducted a search for my sweetener-original docs package. The result of the search: Korean customs is not holding anything of mine! He claims that the glitch occured either at the Canadian or Korean Post; he had also contacted the Korean Post and is awaiting an answer; he'll let me know as soon as anything new surfaces. He also agreed to send me an email repeating exactly what he had said to me over the phone (something I can show to the Immgration office, if need be). Lo and behold, 1/2 hour later, there's the letter from him.
Hard to believe that his office would go into so much trouble for a little package of a little me, and all this courteousness prompted by a simple bur profoundly desperate email.

I have nothing as good to say about Canada Post. They have a fancy web-site with billions of links and numbers to call except that any number given for calls from outside of Canada, when called [all day long] 'is temporarily busy; please try your call later.' Bastards! They charged $50.00 dollars guaranteeing a 6 day delivery BUT when things go wrong they are impossible to reach.

I don't know who has my docs, Canadians, Koreans... Perhaps, somebody else has an appreciation for Splenda... or fancy documents on fancy cardboard. At least, the official Korea is trying to help which is far less than my country is doing or intending to do. Should I contact his excellency Marius Grinius (his real name!), the Canadian ambassador? It might be laughable to you, dear reader, but my whole cushy uni job existence is in jeopardy here. What am I to fricking do about this? Cancel my trip to Nepal and order a fresh batch of originals that would cost me an arm and a leg and probably get lost all over again?
My plan B is to go to the Immigration on Wednesday with my original dry-seal anti-fraud protected but unsealed transcripts, play dumb and hope for an unexperienced ill-trained immigration officer. If that doesn't fly then I'd pull out a pre-prepared folder filled with the sorry records of my Customs/ Post Pandemonium: emails, phone numbers, tracking numbers, contact names, I'll look as helpless and as innocent as possible, I'll shed crystal tears. Perhaps an ajoshi would take pity on me. What a nightmare/Quel Cauchemar!

On sinusitis and chicken asses - random ramblings of a sick ajumma

I'm sick. I've been fricking sick on and off for a week. My sinuses are making my head explode. They're also making it hard to work and be the bouncing Bianca as affectionately but inaccurately recently dubbed by Clare.
I'll be braving the Annapurna Range in less than a week and I don't seem to be recovering. If anything, every day I feel more and more blah. Before I finally hop on that plane - and what a relief it would be, - there are all these things to be done.

While Clare is happily googling and accumulating knowledge about our trail (I bet she knows by now which village shops on our trail sell the most Starbucks-tasting coffee and where one can find the best quality rugs), I'm trying to keep my big throbbing head close to the grindstone and be on top of my grading. BUT the aforementioned fricking head is pounding and pulsing with sinuses clogged, inflamed and infected. Not only am I a sorry sick ajumma (the picture is actually a bit of stylized me the way I look today), I'm also stressed out (BTW if YOU feel sick of my complaints, don't read, buzz off!). There are more things that have been eating Bianca's berries than I'm willing to share publicly, but I will mention some:

Sandra, my friend, is not coming in February. Instead of rolling in white sand on a Thai beach with me, she'll be rolling in a white hospital bed recovering after her thyroid glands surgery. My own glands have been depending for long months now on the kindness of two then one pill a day of hormonal supplements. Sandra's problem started like that - and look at her know - scalpel bound. I hope to God she'll be fine. She's the most positive person I know, but in her last night's email a bit of negativity was thinly garbed in some short-hemmed humourous lines.

My original degree certificates that must be shown to the Korean immigration authorities for verification purposes have been suspended god knows where between Canada and the ROK. I did the tracking number check: the package left Canada Nov. 29th, was supposed to be in my hands by Dec. 6th, except that it's not. My brother (with best intentions, of course) had sweetened the documents with many, many, many little SPLENDA packages (an artficial sweetener that doesn't leave any aftertaste). For all I know (and fear) the envelope containing these time-sensitive docs is somewhere in the hands of Korean Customs, every little package open and tested for drugs.

In a mad bout of desperation, I sent ridiculous/childish emails today to some contact people at Canada Post and Korea Customs. "Please, sir, baaah, madam, baah, if I don't get the package on time, I'll be kicked out of Korea, and I'll be doomed to teach bratty high-school kids in Canada. Puuuuhleease, do something, get my package back to me." Like they have nothing better to do. Did I mention that the envelope contains my REAL original degree certificates, pulled out of their fancy expensive frames? Am livid with Hansung for misplacing the certified copies of my docs - then again, part of me is not sure:have they returned them to me? am I the one who misplaced them?! Rumour has it that people who fail to present their originals to the immigration officials until Dec. 31st, we'll be kicked out of the country (deported like common criminals, in chains and gagged) or perhaps sentenced to inhabit and till the fertile lands of Deok-do in a manner Australia was populated by convicts. It will be a community of former teachers with false documents. BUT I I am innocent. There are many things fake about me (you'd be surprised!) but my degrees are real thang earned in the sweat of my face and dark circles under my eyes. AND I don't have until Dec. 31st, I have until Dec. 16th. What' s a girl to do?

Hiked yesterday which was nice but cold. Breathing heavily in the cold air always aggrevates my sinuses. No surprise then that I woke up this morning with that familiar heavy lumpy feeling in the head. The area behind my nose and forehead felt as if filled with molten lead. Advil and other drugs helped a bit, but 'bit' is the buzz word here. As I'm typing this I do it with eyes closed (had 2 years of blind typing, thank you very much, and was a blimey secretary for 3 years), checking ocasionally for typos and other nonsense by alternately opening left or right eye. The glare of the computer screen hurts.

I did manage to correct a batch of quizzes (with sunglasses on, paper being too white and bright), but haven't touched the assignments, yet. Brian (the quirky colleague) kindly offered to create a spread sheet for me to easily tabulate all the grades, as I have no clue how to do it (now we know who the real fruit is!). May god give him the best lucid dream ever!

I have a meeting tomorrow with Prof. Hong and Brian. We'll discuss changes in the curriculum that will affect both of us. I am afraid, I don't like the sound of it. Hope my schedule will not be changed too much. I like having my hump day off. No humping, though, just a day off! I have a dinner to go to and X-mas presents to shop for, also need a new backpack and thermal underwear... This on top of having to wrap up the semester... I just don't know how I'll manage to do all of this in the short 6 days before Nepal. For someone who has such a long vacation, I'm pretty frazzled at the moment. I wish I could hire a buttler...or at least a part-time personal assistant.

Just a short week or so ago, Clare, referring to her aching knee said that it ain't fun getting older. I told her not to worry - one gets used to dull aches and pains. Bollocks! (yep, saw B. Jones' Diary for the umpteenth time recently). When I said it I was not in pain, but today I am.

To end on a light note: read yet another unintentionally funny article about curative powers of kimchi. Yep, it's, of course, about kimchi and the avian flu. 13 out of 16 (or something like that) sick chickens got healthy after being fed some agent extracted from kimchi. I hear (am not joking, actually, I read it) that Europeans, especially Germans are examining their sourkraut to see if it has the same miraculous agent). A funny Kyopo guy who calls himself Kimchihead wrote in his blogs how he saw 'chicken asses' on sale as food articles. The most delightfull bit in his entry:"the word for chicken ass in the Korean langauge is "dong chib" (shit house); call me crazy, but I ain't eatin' nothing that's named shit house." Isn't Korean a very humorous langauge? Another example: the word for blister in the Korean langauge is " mul chib" - water house. Come to think of it, sinuses must be called "dongee apa chib" (shitty pain house) in Korean. Suddenly, 700.000 won and many hours of my still somewhat young life that will have been spent on Korean lessons in January make more sense. If only this pain would go away... Pain, pain, go away.... Please. Pretty please. With chocolate sauce and a cherry on the top? What, no? Just, go away, you no good herald of woe! Disappear! Bugger off! (thanx B. Jones, again) Ouch!