Family Love

I am at a party, a tired wallflower contentedly observing the comings and goings of the vanity fair in front of me. My Pocahontas Hair friend walks over with a woman and says: “I’d like you to meet one of my best friends. We used to be neighbours in Notting Hill.” A short woman with stylish short hair smiles at me. “Mi-soo,” she says as she’s offering a manicured hand in a handshake. Her clothes are black from head to toe, sweater oversized and complicated; it leaves her shoulders bear drawing attention to a clunky necklace of gleaming onyx plates differently sized and shaped; her boots are fashionably up-to-the-minute – pointed, scrunched and ankle-high. Everything about her screams: a woman of the world, a successful artist, perhaps. She turns out to be just that, first a professional photographer in London, then a gourmet chef.

As Pocahontas leaves, she sits opposite me, sipping wine and smoking. Very European. We start talking. Her unmistakable Korean cadences blend well with most definite British influences that come through in her intonation and slightly high-pitched voice. She’s animated and attractive in that petit woman way. Her pixy good looks are played up by her boyish hair and funky style.

She’s a talker, all right: born on an island, the “Korean Hawaii,” she says. Seoul or rather Hongik University became her second home where her parents sent her to study art many years ago . Thirst for adventure and the big wide world cut her studies short and landed her in London where she lived for six years. She came back only three months ago. How very unconventional, I think.

She goes on: after 2 blissful months with her family on the island, ‘the longest vacation in her life,’ her Mother tells her that the island is too small for a woman of her sensibilities and sophistication. ‘You need to be in a big city,’ is her mother’s conclusion. Mi-soo agrees – she did start feeling a bit confined. Her family understand her; they don’t pressure her into marriage although she is 41. “Oh, 1966?”, I ask. She answers, ‘no, 1965,’ giving me her ‘western’ not Korean age that considers babies are one when they are born.

The day of leaving the island arrives. The family is lined up to say goodbye: her parents, rigid and emotionless although she reads sadness spelled in invisible ink across their faces; her younger brother, a respected medical doctor on the island with his pretty wife who holds their little son in her arms. Mi-soo hugs everyone. Father unexpectedly slips an envelope into her pocket, saying: “Here’s 5,000,000 won Mother and I have been saving for a long time.” She protests refusing the money, claiming it’s not necessary, she has savings to tie her over until she finds a job, deeply moved by her family’s love and care. This is what she came back for, now she knows. Her brother gives her a business card. Father says: “You need your money for food and a place to stay. Seoul is expensive. Our money is for your future. We are worried. It’s our gift to you.” Brother adds: “Dr. Park is a friend of mine. It’s been arranged already. He’ll give you a big discount. Call him on Monday.” She glances down at the card and see written in big gold letters: “Dr. In-seok Park” - Rhinoplasty Surgeon-Specialist.”
'How appalling,' I say while waiting for the punch-line, a climax worthy of Maupassant in which the heroine will tell the family off proving courage and uniqueness. “Why appalling?!", she says. "I’ll have surgery next week. . A bigger nose - and I'll be more attractive. I am 41, I told you, not much time left to find a husband and have a baby.My family... they love me, they want me to be happy.” I nod, mumbling an apology. Silence weaves itself around us. We sit framed in it: I the non-understanding foreigner embarassed by my quick assumptions; she - elegantly wrapped in her carefully planned outfit and hungrily dragging on the cigarette - the island woman who once lived in London.

Hiking Solo on Soyo

Hiking alone. You see this man? He hikes alone and no one seems to give it a second thought. Why? Well, first of all he's Korean, and second of all he's a man. It's natural (if perhaps perceived as somewhat sad by the group-loving Koreans) for a man to hike alone. He perhaps needs to think about big many issues. A woman hiking alone? A foreign woman hiking alone? Pretty unthinkable, I'd say. Anyhoo, I survived it. I hiked on Soyo alone before, but never on the weekend, always on work days (well, other people's workdays). The number of hikers was vey low, and I didn't feel especially singled out. Unlike today. So, why would a foreign female hike solo, other than wanting some time to herself to reflect and sort through things?

Because you love eulalias, their silvery heads swaying gently as they overlook Camp Casey and Seoul in the distance.  

Because you love how the area around Soyo is becoming more and more creative and spruced up, especially the restaurants that compete for your won. I loved the pumpkin-lantern combo.  

Because you love Soyosan. You love Jajaeam that seems in a permanent state of lotus lanterns festival.  

You are a responsible, well-prepared hiker, especially when it comes to your food supply. What have we got here? Let's see: cheddar cheese, yellow and white, two eggs, rice crackers, assorted veggies, whole wheat bread, trail mix (homemade, of course), and as a dessert: apples dredged in cinammon (to keep your blood sugar steady.) You will find what you consider a secluded spot, but as soon as you flop down, suddenly all the other hikers stop right behind your back. Before your first cheese-cracke is chewed and swallowed you'll have at least 6 groups miraculously finding spots around you, and saying things like: "Oooh, yees.', 'veeery good." You'll wonder if they are mocking you, or if they are trying to start talking to you. You'll pretend not no to hear and you'll keep munching, hoping they'll go away. They won't, so you will.  

You will be coming across wonderful views. Soyo is amazing because it's such a small mountain but it's so interesting, at the end of the day you feel like you've been to a huge natioanal park. This is just one of the nice view that you'll come across.  

Roots will try to trap you, to catch your foot in their tricky loops.  

Or, you'll encounter a lion. Just, look at this picture. Mother nature did a pretty good job. Perhaps, that's why Soyo is called "The little Diamond Mountain" - if you look closely you find all these animal formations.  

You'll rush down possibly hundreds of stairs, your stomach grumbling and your palate aching for dong-dong ju. You haven't done this in a long time, and you're remembering all over again how much pleasure it brings to your orderly, teacherly life. Down, down, I hurry...  

Finally: the ajumma whose looks you had complimented last year (a Korean Ava Gardner, I swear!), brings your side dishes first: pickled garlic, pickled mini green peppers, a plate of kimchi. Then, she appears with 1/2 bowl of dong-dong ju. You'll down two bowls before your pajeon arrives, then you'll have one more. Your feet will start tingling, and you'll decide not to finish the whole bowl. You'll go through most of the pancake, though. You did hike for 6 hours, after all, and conqured god knows how many steep peaks. You'll pay, run to the trains station under construction; you'll try to avoid drunken harabojis (gramps! - no kidding, not ajoshis, but amorous harabojis). You'll feel very tired on the train and you won't have a seat. You'll read your book better to manage the half hour on your tired feet. You'll reach Uijeongbu, hop on the subway, missed the transfer point, come home late. A hot shower, upload your pictures, a couple of glasses of wine... Life seems to be manageable again. Hiking will bring you back.  

A Deokjeokdo-delight

A beautiful islander. One look at him and you remember all the bodice-ripping romances you read as a teenager. The plot: an exotic stranger on an exotic island; there's far more to him than meets the eye ( his Chosun Nikes and farmer's hat). Alas, he'll probably bring a bride from Vietnam, unless he already has an ajumma who cooks and cleans for him. (pic: Andrea)