Last Friday I had to play a model in front of the library with students cheering on and hollering catcalls at me and my colleague Derek, decked out in professional suits. How embarassing! The pics will be published in our uni's promotional brochure due next month (with the addition of Brian and Douglas, who will be photo-shopped in). I was also asked by a student PR rep to recollect a memorable teaching moment.
I'd racked my brains over what to choose out of hundreds possibilities, finally settling on a funny class I taught about 2 years ago.
Here are the contents of the soon-to-be published minute article:
**************************************************************
April’s Fool’s Day
Two years ago, in the spring semester of 2004, I taught a big but truly wonderful first-year Basic English Conversation class. All of our time together was memorable, but one class in particular stands out.
It was Thursday, April 1st, April Fool’s Day, so I decided to teach a cultural unit related to it. Firmly believing that “what’s learned with pleasure is learned full-measure,” in lieu of a warm-up, I pulled a prank on my students.
The inspiration for the prank came from a newspaper article about specialized restaurants in China, which prepare very expensive dishes from human milk. Before the class, I filled an unusually shaped little bottle featuring gold Chinese characters on its brown cap with a mixture of half-water half-soy milk and a few drops of vanilla extract and coffee. The ‘drink’ was quite transparent and had a sickly yellowish tinge to it. In class, after taking attendance, I pulled the bottle out of my bag and asked the students: “Can you guess what’s in here?” After some futile attempts at guessing, I said: “You’ll find it hard to believe, but this is a very expensive little bottle of human milk from China, given to me by a friend.” I managed to keep a deadly serious face while proceeding to relate the story about the specialized human milk restaurants in China.
Many students were making faces in disgust. To shock them further, I said that it didn’t actually taste bad. I unscrewed the cap and offered the “human milk” for tasting. No volunteers. I took a tiny sip, then another one. Oh, the disbelief on their faces! I don’t know how I managed not to laugh. The class was now in upheaval, shaking their heads and looking at me as if I had landed from another planet. “How can you drink that?” someone yelled in disgust. It was only after I saw a student cover his pale lips with his hand in an attempt not to get sick, that I said: “Relax, I’m just pulling your leg. This is soy milk with vanilla extract - today’s April Fool’s Day.” Many students have already heard about it and realized at once what I was doing. Explanations in English and Korean were flying around the classroom. A big collective sigh of relief swept across the classroom followed by a wave of roaring laughter that didn’t stop for quite a while. I stood there, laughing with them and sipping my ‘human milk from China.” They learned hands-on about April Fool’s Day, a lesson, I hope, they will never forget – I am sure I won’t.
******************************************************************
Speaking of "human milk" there's an enriched dairy product in Korea, most unfortunately named "Mother's Milk." It comes in a small plastic bottle and features a picture of a young hand writing on a pad of paper. What the image and the name evoke in Koreans is the warm feeling they got (or are getting) as their moms brought them a cup of milk in those long hours cramming for the big uni-entrance exam. No one thinks about a woman's breast or that the contents of the bottle might come from this source. I am, however, so turned off by the name, and I can't make myself by it, although it contains many important vitamins and minerals.
***********
I booked the ticket to T.O. for July 14th, managing to meet all my objectives in purchasing it:
1. it's about 300,000 won cheaper than the offers from umpteen other agencies I'd contacted
2. The stopovers are reasonable, meaning no U.S. stopovers. After the gruelling Chicago experience last year, I say NO to landing in US on the way to Canada
3. No American Airlines. I still have nightmares in which their scary big-haired flight attendants loom large. It's my right to refuse to listen to another begrudging sentence beginning with, " I'm sorry, M'am, but since 9/11 we've been trying to stay afloat and keep our jobs - we cannot give you a glass of wine/extra sandwich/orange juice, peanuts." By the end of the flight I felt it to much of an imposition on the poor crew to even ask for a glass of water. On the other hand, my bloody ticket costs me an arm and a leg, and I do expect a glass of wine and a friendly flight attendant in return. If AA cannot provide that, perhaps it's time for them to sink, or restructure, or take 'human skills' courses. I'm flying Cathay Pacific this time. North American airlines should learn a thing or two about customer service from their Asian counterparts. Until they do, I'll keep choosing those airlines with smily flight attendants, free drinks and decent food. They inevitably happen to be from Asia, or sometimes Europe: Thai Air, Air India, ANA, JAL, even the tiny Air Bangkok. Now, for the first time I'll try Cathay Pacific. Can't wait.
When I got to the City Hall, the Ceremony was about to start. Lots of monks and nuns and well-dressed middle-aged and older people were milling about, carrying beautiful lanterns. I walked around the area with my camera, listening to the beautiful chanting of the choir dressed in pale-green and maroon hanboks. Two kind ajummas gave me my own lantern. It was the time well spent, as the lanterns and hanboks shimmered and glittered against the treacherous darkness of the city. A very traditional ceremony in the midst of the very modern city centre represented Korean nation well: a traditional heart in the midst of the modern economic hub. 
